As the clock showed signs of moving on in darkness, my heart started pacing. I could not figure out what this sound meant and what it tried to signify yet I knew there was something. There was something concrete in it. Hidden or Revealed. But there was something. This was the time when my friend Silence came to meet me. It was always a Date. We did not like any distractions in our meetings. We had been meeting since those days at this particular hour. After seeing me in the most miserable of all times, crippled and trampled over I remember it once knocked on my door for never to return. It assured me that it wouldn’t leave me and would be there for me in all times of need. I gradually emptied all my burden in its lap and I remember how it buried it all in its chest. But that night when I was waiting for it to say something this annoying tick tick of the clock interrupted. I shut my eyes and covered my ears with my hands to keep the sound away which was hindering my routine. But to no avail. The tick tick was piercing through my ears and even eyes. Thrusting through the barriers of my hands which covered my ears it entered my body. Shoving in through my closed eyelids it seemed to be embedding in my soul. And settle there permanently. Urrgghh.. I HATE this! Why would any sound enter me? This seemingly insignificant stimulus was strong enough to bring about a change in me. By now Silence had been the closest friend to me and had been happily residing inside me. I was its abode. I wouldn’t tell it to move away for I love it! I remember how Silence kept me upright. I remember the strength and vigor it gave me. I remember how it showed me ways of getting over things which haunted me. I remember how it served as the only means of healing my wounds, in its clandestine visits to me. After settling inside my senses and brain how hard it had worked day and night to mend my soul. I can never forget how I had developed telepathy with it. The language we used to communicate with was difficult to learn, but I managed somehow. Getting acquainted to an abstract entity was a laborious job especially for somebody like me who was engulfed by material glitters and glamors. Now that some strange sound which was not worthy of attention earlier was seeping in my soul I actually felt the pressure with which it was pushing my best friend out. It was uprooting my best friend. Probably, it was a battlefield and I could feel the unrest. It wasn’t lesser than any chaos for me. I had to have my friend with me. I couldn’t let it be defeated. I closed my eyes and blocked my ears even harder but it didn’t help. After all I am a week being without any control over my will, mind and senses. I struggled nonetheless. Feelings of extreme desolation and dejection engulfed me again and made fun of me, like those days. But hey.. hang on! There was something even disturbing, on its way. Although these feelings of helplessness and morbidity were too torturing yet there was more mayhem to come. I knew something even more dreadful was approaching but since to err is human, I shunned the idea. Yes. The worse had come. My best friend was uprooted from within me. And here comes the most terrible parts of my endeavors of that night and that was my friend’s amicable compliance to tick tick’s notions. It evacuated my soul. I felt felt the tick tick didn’t need to pull much strings. Silence quickly gathered its family members (Apathy, Gloom, Lethargy, Hollowness and Procrastination) and told them to look for another one like me. After befriending them try to heal their wounds and then call mother Silence to come and settle with them inside that somebody like me and ensure that her family survives and thrives. I cried out loud, ”Don’t leave me.. Please! stay back!” I could not say another goodbye. How many more were written down for me? I hence bowed and clung to its legs. I howled. Shouted and screamed. I did not want my confidante to leave. I loved my best friend! ”Take me along,” I cried. ”Cease my existence and pour me in your blood. I’ll flow in you. Burn me into ashes and sprinkle them in your breath. I’ll give you life. I won’t cause any hindrance and help you in your errands. I’ll support your cause. I’ll live in vacuum. I’ll live where you’ll live. I’ll go wherever you go. I’ll comply to all your demands. But please don’t go. Or or or take me along! Please..” ”How is it possible? How can I cease your existence when your Lord has another plan for you? The Best plan. I cannot even dare to interfere with His will and neither can you. He sent me to you when you needed. Now it’s time for me to go..” ”Please No! Stay back! Even you’re deceiving me. Even you’re deserting me. You promised you’ll be there for me in all times of need. But what now? You weren’t a liar. You were a good being. Somebody who would listen to me and advise me. You would make my pain lesser and diverted me from the miseries I’ve been through. You would blur out my past. How about our meetings? How about our good times? How about everything I’ve shared with you? I can’t show my wounds to anybody! I won’t be able to get another friend like you! Listen Oh please listen. I’ll DIE! Listen..” ”You listen. Your tales of sorrows and sufferings will be used to alleviate someone else’s wounds. They will be felt by them as they are embedded in my chest. Just like you felt somebody’s else’s. You have already found a better friend which has been sent from heaven. Do not lose it.” ”What?” ”Yes. I’ve spent enough time with you and it’s time for me to move on just like it’s time for you to move on..” I smiled as it placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.
Meer Gohram
Faces of Pakistan 